Human Connections and how BooBoo and I met.

After a tiff with BooBoo last night, I sat and thought about what it is that makes us humans connect with each other. cause of the little spat was a third party, hence my fascination with human connections.

I exist in a more or less introvert extrovert continuum (I hope that makes sense) so a lot tends to take place in my head rather than in reality, extrovert(edly) and after ample stimulation and only in rare circumstances. I think most acquaintances know only this side of my personality and that is why they keep asking me for lunch dates even after I blatantly refuse! But I digress.

Like any other human, I highly value bonds that I form with other people. Sometimes I read too much into these bonds or bondee does the same but all in all, it's a bond nonetheless. Most of the people I bond with are people I meet on a daily basis but an almost larger number are people I meet on the net. What does that say about me? I'd rather hang out with 'imaginary friends' than real people? I think people you haven't met expect less form you and thus to pressure to conform is reduced. On the other hand, it might be harder to stay in relevant communication with these 'imaginary friends; because you may not exactly paint yourself in the best light. I get a feeling I'm rambling...

But you have to agree there's a certain mystery in talking to someone you do not know. I mean, even the theory of 6 degrees of separation doesn't apply here. And there's something about that bond that you form because this is something that is of your own creation. No friend of friend or anything. I realize this can also happen in the real world but it's better in the virtual world. I've met some real cool people this way. From the days of Reporo and mig33 to facebook and twitter. It's amazing, these human connections.

From this onset, you shouldn't be surprised that BooBoo and I met through the web :-) Yes. Through that phone chat app called mig33. It was in 2007, the second quarter of it if memory serves me right. I was in campus then and I had to have something to occupy me during boring lectures or when I had better things to do than attend them. So, yeah. I 'bumped' into him in a public room which several 'bumpings' later let to a private chat! The more I type, the more weird this gets! Someone call Dr. Normal!

He'd just come back form Germany and maybe felt the need for a Kenyan connection. That sounds cheesy. Anyways. Chat after chat we realized we had 'something' and phone numbers were exchanged. But somewhere in between, my real life contacts were more appealing so...... That was that.

Fast forward to December. I was back home from school for Christmas. He was in Eldoret (which is where I went to school. holla Moi Uni alumni) and was lonely. His family had traveled and he had better things to do than tow along. At that point in time, the election fever was high pitch. He was non partisan and I was PNU. He didn't even have an voting card! And I had fallen into the tribal divide. I won't even get into that.

Christmas Day! I logged in (my username was xsistasoulx, just in case we might've 'bumped') and there he was. Oh, I forgot to tell you that we used to flash each other every time we needed to talk... Do not criticize. So we're chatting and I'm going on and on about how I was having a fab day and he tells me how lonely he was. Then I came up with the genius idea to make him a virtual Christmas lunch. I'm so sweet! That went on and on... We never had cyber sex, FYI.

Election day! After performing my civic duty, I log on to brag about it. He cares less. Hmmm... That should've been a sign. Not much to talk about that day. But on the day results were announced and Kibaki was (controversially) sworn in and when all hell went loose, there was something to talk about. I got a play by play what the situation was in Eldoret. It wasn't pretty. It was OK in Mombasa till 30th. My dad, safety freak he is, decided that we should put away all expensive items in the house. That included my phone and the t.v. Actually the t.v was swapped for a very old model that was gathering dust somewhere. Up the 'attic' they went. I didn't talk to him till sometime in January when things had cooled down, somewhat.

Maybe it was fear that was in in Kenyans at that time but things just went whizzzzzzzz!!! Up the scale!!! And later the L word was mentioned... Not by me, I'd never say it first :-) I should make it clear that till L word, we had never met. He had sent me a photo of himself but I didn't return the favour. I wanted him to see me in slow motion the first time we met so I didn't want to spoil that (for myself). I sound so self obsessed! Oh, well.

Cutting the long story short, we met in February 2008. My slow motion walk in failed because I turned up early for the date :-/. After that, well.... here we are.

In as much as we may sometimes want to shut ourselves out from reality, it is unavoidable that at our core, we need to be connected. To have that bond with some other human being. Whether for selfish reasons or noble ones. And I also think that we shouldn't just stick to the conventional. take a risk. Meet a total stranger. You will love it.

I do not have a better conclusion for this post so...... The end!!

P.s
follow me on twitter @kenyanese186. Will try link my blog to it but I'm still too shy to bear myself to the world so, let's keep it local.

undefined.

Nothing specific. Kinda like a short story, but not quite

Yesterday, true to their colossal wanker selves, KPLC decided to turn off the lights. Just when I was beginning to enjoy tweetdeck, my recent discovery. As I was navigating through it, I notice that my laptop's battery is about to go off. Oh no! Just when talking to cyber crush was getting interesting :-( As I hit the reply button, flash message pops up, 'plug in or find another power source'. Where is this other power source?? I realize, now, that other people may have two batteries but still, wtf?

Did I say cyber crush? Yeah. There's this guy I've been DMing back and forth on twitter. I wouldn't call it crush per se. I just like talking to him... the 100+ DMs say so. And no, I'm not single. In fact, booboo is in the kitchen making supper while I type away about some guy I've not even met. Go back. Yes, he cooks for me :-) And I feel zilch for flirting with twitter guy.
The reason for this may be because I badly need to get out of this relationship. That's another post for another day. I'll post it after he goes back home. I'm in Nairobi but we're both from Mombasa. He came over for a visit and I'm itching to tell him to go back home :-/ Anyways, he's leaving soon.

So yeah, I'm in Nairobi. Well technically. I really did not want to come here but since I had no choice.... There's just a thing about this city. Maybe it's because I grew up in Mombasa. I really did (do) not like this town. That again is another post. But so far, it's kinda growing on me. It just might work out for the two of us. Looking forward to the adventures in store and other things.
My ex just came to mind! How random! Now that will be the mother of all posts!!!! He is trapped in a loveless marriage! Ha! That's what you get for breaking up with me (this is what vanity looks like). I will not deny that once upon a time, I was dumped (this is what humility looks like). But when I saw him there was this rush of emotion and before any of us.... Like i said, that's for another post.

Looks like there might be a tiny winy problem in the kitchen. But look at that! DM(1)! take a wild guess what i decided to check out first!

Buzzzzz to myself

Whoa! haven't been on here in a loooong while! It's high time that changers. The problem is, i have never mastered the art of committing to something. That's why I never even bother with new year resolutions (Happy new year, btw :-)). However, with the many changes and challenges I am currently facing, i think it's better to commit to ranting out on this blog rather than on people who though might listen to me, do not give a damn or have bigger problems. Going out on a limb that people on blogger are very happy people without a care in the world!

So, yeah. That's what I'll do. i wont even care about TMI or being inappropriate. I guess if I am to really sort my issues should be able to state what they are precisely, right? I realize I am talking to myself here since I have no followers but at least i can hear myself :-)

Well, here's to a new start on the blog world. Cheers to me.

Monica - Mirror

I absolutely love this song. Talk about self reflection.

MONICA

Last year, Dad and I took some time off to go to our rural home. There were a lot of developments to be done. My responsibility was to supervise the painting of the 'new' house and put my interior design tips to the test. I also started a small project for myself; I started a kitchen garden! yes, i picked up a hoe and dug! Then I planted tomatoes, sukuma wiki, mchicha, spinach and onions. I"m quite the ambitious type! Whether or not I reaped where I sowed is another blog-post!

I had such an amazing time with Dad considering before then, I had last been in shagz about 10 years prior. Again, reasons for that are another blog-spot! I loved waking up early in the morning to be greeted by the peaks of Mt. Kenya and looking over the hills for the sunrise. Clean, fresh air followed by hard work the rest of the day. Cooking with a paraffin stove and boiling cereal on the three stone fire. I was so fascinated by all that and Dad kept saying that he has given us a very privileged life and he regrets it! I don't!!

The relationship I have with Dad is kinda complicated. I"d say, we are best frenemies. Still, we bonded over the three stone fire and down by the river that runs through the home and over the meals (we kinda stuck to eating ugali and chili-cabbage most of the time, sumptuous meal) and walks to town to get fresh yogurt.

It was during one of these bonding sessions that Dad told me about Monica.

Flashback 16 years ago, 29th April 1994. It was my eighth birthday but Mum and Dadwere nowhere to be seen. I caused tantrum! How could they not be there on my birthday? Making matters worse, my sister was up to her usual, teasing me endlessly. then Dad came home. he seemed to be in a rush. He had come with some goodies to appease me but before I could yell at him, he was gone.

Little did I know that at that time at Mombasa Hospital, Mum had given birth to my sister but she died minutes after....

Dad is a true Maasai man. Cannot show any emotion. What he did was take my sister, put her in a coffin and in the car and drove to Manyimbo cemetery where he buried her. He did not care about city by-laws that state you must have a burial permit. no, he dug a grave, lay the coffin and while he was burying my little sister, he named her Monica.

Back to June 2009.

I was frozen as dad told me this. Only later did I realize the stream of tears flowing down my face. I cannot explain the hurt I felt. Only that it hurt really, really bad.

I could go on and on about that day. But I'd rather not. See, I'm also not one to be overly emotional. Guess it's that wicked Maasai blood.

So here it is, Monica has been dead for 16 years now. That is 16 years of silence about Monica. It's time to put a stop to that. on my side, that is. I celebrated her birthday this year by putting it up on the Internet (you do know I mean facebook, right?) and had a blast. We rocked that sweet sixteen, didn't we Sis?

So many things we would have shared... And she just had to be born on the same date I was!

This is a vow to never ever forget Monica and to always talk to her. I haven't yet got the strength to go to her grave but, baby steps.... There's something heavy on my chest and there is something in my throat.....

I love you, Monica!

HOME TIME

Looking at my watch, it's almost 5 o'clock. time to go home after a loooong day at the office. I have been attempting to write a report about the training we, a colleague and I, did in Kilifi last week. I use the word 'attempting' because in between blogging, tweeting, facebook-ing, random Google searches and simple drafting, I've only managed to write a paragraph! Ha! what does that say about my time management skills?!
So till home time, I will try (not) to do some more paragraphs. but not with all the daydreaming that is going on in my head. plus my tummy is feeling kinda queasy. I highly suspect that pilau I had for lunch. Speaking of food, I am officially going on a diet! I solely blame my very preggers sister for my recent weight gain. Advise, never hang aroung pregnant women!! I know the diet may not last for long but at least I'll have tried. I'm wobbling for pete's sake!!
Speaking of wobbling, saw this lady on Friday night at the club. She's a plus size lady but damn! I"ll stop there! oh! Almost forgot that D.J Adrian signed an autograph for me!!!! I know, it's lame but still!! D. J. ADRIAN!! OMG, the things I dream of doing to that man! My not-so-secret-fantasy-man!!
44 minutes till 5.... i doubt if my boss will notice if I'm gone early. On second that, I should be working on that report...

Drake - I Get Lonely Too